Are You Dating a Potential Cheater?

Most single woman seeking a committed relationship would rather avoid dating men who are likely to cheat. But according to statistics, an estimated 50 to 70 percent of men cheat on their mates. How can you tell if the man you’re dating is one of these potential cheaters? Wouldn’t it be great to have this information about him before getting too deeply involved?

Find out If He’s Prone to Infidelity

Studies reveal that some men are more likely to cheat than others because of their background, their past history, or certain character traits. Using this information, I’ve designed a 7-question quiz to help women determine whether or not a man is prone to infidelity.

Single Women Screen Dates with this Quiz

The Potential Cheaters Quiz was originally posted on my website http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com to help married women find out if their husbands are prone to infidelity. I also provided a special report with strategies to help women deal with these potential cheaters. However numerous single women began reporting how they were using the quiz to screen the men they met on dating sites, and through dating services and personal ads.




Decide Who Not to Date

The Potential Cheaters quiz can help you make an informed decision about whether or not to continue dating a man, or how deeply to get involved. By identifying and avoiding the potential cheaters in the dating pool, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary headaches and heartaches.

Rate Your Date with the Potential Cheaters Quiz

Before you fall head-over-heels in love or get too attached to the new man in your life, rate your date’s cheating potential with the 7 questions below:

Potential Cheaters Quiz

1. Does he thrive on adventure?

2. Did he have a great deal of sexual experience prior to your relationship?

3. Does he have lots of female friends?

4. Does he have male friends who are cheating on their wives or girlfriends?

5. Does he have a parent who cheated?

6. Did he cheat in any of his past relationships?

7. Does he feel that infidelity is really no big deal?

What the Answers Mean:

1. Some men enjoy all the suspense, deception and intrigue that go along with infidelity. They’ll cheat just for the “thrill of the chase.”

2. Studies reveal that men who were extremely sexually active before settling down in a committed relationship are more apt to engage in sex outside that relationship. Don’t expect a leopard to change his spots.

3. Close friendships with women are a common starting point for infidelity. Friends can quickly turn into lovers. The closer the friendship, the greater the odds that it will develop into an affair.

4. Never underestimate the power of peer pressure. If his friends are cheating, he’ll soon be cheating too.

5. Infidelity tends to run in families. Children of unfaithful parents are often programmed to follow in their footsteps, considering infidelity to be the norm.

6. “Once a cheater, always a cheater.” There are exceptions, but statistically speaking, if he cheated once, he’s more apt to do it again. His history will probably repeat itself.

7. If he doesn’t believe that infidelity is wrong, his behavior will reflect his beliefs.

Tips on How to Deal With a Potential Cheater

If it turns out you’re dating a potential cheater, or you’re strongly considering dating one, you need to know what to do. Even with only one yes answer on the Potential Cheaters Quiz, there’s still cause for concern. My special report, “How to Handle a Potential Cheater", lists a number of precautions you can take. It also includes several successful strategies to use. To receive a FREE copy of this report ( a $7 value), send an e-mail to: InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with "Potential Cheater Report” in the subject line.

What Kind of Cheater Is He? - Evaluate Your Results

Generally speaking, the more ‘yes’ answers, the greater the likelihood that a man will cheat. But some answers carry more weight than others, so you’ll want to take a closer look at the results.

If you answered yes to #1, #2, or #5 (but not all three), he’s a POTENTIAL CHEATER who may very well cheat on you if the opportunity presents itself. If you decide to get involved with him, you need to make it difficult for him to cheat. Familiarize yourself with the signs of infidelity, so you’ll know if he starts to stray.

If you answered yes to #3 or #4 alone, together, or in combination with #1 or #2, he’s a COMMON “GARDEN-VARIETY” CHEATER who will cheat if he feels he can do so without getting caught. Your challenge, if you insist on dating him, is to stay one step ahead of him by learning to recognize the early warning signs. If you know how to spot the signs of impending infidelity, you may be able to stop his cheating before it starts, or leave before he breaks your heart. Familiarize yourself with the 21 major categories of telltale signs.

If you answered yes to #6 alone or in combination with #1,#2, #3, #4, or #5 you’re dealing with an EXPERIENCED CHEATER who knows how to hide the obvious signs of infidelity. The most important thing to do if you’re dating this man is learn to spot the subtle signs of infidelity, because these are the signs that will inevitably give him away. Get a good infidelity reference guide, watch him like a hawk, and try not to get too deeply involved.

If you answered yes to #7 alone ( This one’s the biggie!) or in combination with any others, you’ve got a HARD-CORE, HABITUAL CHEATER on your hands who’s probably already having an affair. (You could unknowingly be the Other Woman.) For this man, cheating is a way of life. If you don’t want to become an infidelity statistic, leave this man alone. Should you decide to take on this challenge, you’re in serious trouble if you don’t know how to spot the subtle signs of infidelity. Forget about watching for the usual signs of cheating. This man is an expert at covering his tracks. The best thing you can do is become adept at spotting the subtle signs of infidelity, since there won’t be any obvious signs to give him away. The subtle signs are the ones he won’t even think to cover up. Get the best infidelity reference book you can find to help you recognize these subtle signs. Invest in a copy of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs which lists practically every known sign of infidelity ( http://www.Is-He-Cheating-On-You.com ) and keep it handy at all times.

Copyright © 2005 Ruth Houston - All rights reserved.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Infidelity expert Ruth Houston is the author of Is He Cheating on You?- 829 Telltale Signs, an infidelity reference book which documents practically every known sign of infidelity. Ruth's website http://www.InfidelityAdvice.com provides practical advice on all aspects of infidelity. For a FREE copy of “How to Handle a Potential Cheater", e-mail InfidelityAdvice@gmail.com with "Potential Cheater Report” in the subject line.

Ruth also does personal infidelity consultations. Ruth has been quoted in the New York Times, the Toronto Sun, the New York Post, Cosmopolitan, iVillage, MSN Lifestyle, AOL Black Voices and numerous others, and has been a guest on Good Day New York, TalkAmerica, Telemundo, BBC, CBC, 1010WINS and over 150 other radio and TV talk shows in the US,Canada, Europe, South America, and the Caribbean.

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Attracting Great Relationships in 7 Days

Relationship Renewal: Commit to making your relationship better and that is exactly what you will get.

Day One:

Create a list where you identify everything that is not working in your current relationship. Then, create another one where you detail how you would like it to be. What do you need from your partner? What would it mean to be happy?

Day Two:

Create a plan for achieving what you want regarding your relationship. Decide what you want to try. Commit to getting what you want. Many people roll their eyes at the notion that you can just decide what you want and then make a plan to get it. They believe it is much more complicated than that. Why does it have to be more complicated than that? The reason why many people do not get what they want from relationships is because they do not know what they want and more importantly, even if they do know, they do nothing about it. Today that is going to change.




Day Three:

Tell your partner how you are feeling. Spell it out and approach him or her with love and assume he or she will receive this with a positive attitude. Remember you are in this together. Avoid placing blame no matter what you are talking about and choose to focus on the future rather than getting hung up on past disappointments. If you want to improve your relationship and you are committed to making it better, rehashing old wounds will not get you where you want to go. Take responsibility for the fact that you are not currently getting what you need and tell him what you want to do about it. Ask him what he needs from you.

Day Four:

Spend some time today showing and telling your partner how grateful you are for having him in your life. Write him a note or better yet, take a bath together and share with each other what you love about each other and the relationship. Tell him how important your relationship is to you. Reconnect with what you drew you to each other in the first place.

Day Five:

Go on a date. It is easy to get busy with work or with the kids and forget to make time where you can give each other your undivided attention. I recommend that you go on a date every week or at least every two weeks. It does not have to be an elaborate and expensive night out, unless that us what you want. It can be as simple as walking around an art fair, going out for a drink, or grabbing a burger. It is a way of reconnecting and it forces you to slow down and focus on the relationship that matters most to you. You will attract what you put your attention, energy, and focus into and if you begin paying more attention to your relationship and feeding it what it needs, you will get exactly that in return.

Day Six:

Remind yourself that this is a process and relationships do not grow on autopilot. You must do the work every day and you must be willing to listen, compromise, learn, and provide a genuine commitment to the relationship. Continue to review your list and remind yourself about what your partner needs as well. Check in and give yourselves permission to make mistakes. Give each other a break and expect the very best.

Day Seven:

Commit to making these practices a habit for at least the next 6 weeks. If you want to change, you must commit to it. Remember, you are getting exactly what you are committed to getting.

To read more tips like the ones in this article go to http://www.mhcareercoaching.com or http://coachmelani.typepad.com. If you would like to ask Melani a question, visit her blog at http://askmelani.blogspot.com. Melani Ward is a successful career and life coach and entrepreneur. She coaches people on career discovery and development, resume and interviewing strategies, relationships, and achieving work and life balance. She is the founder of Mountain High Career Coaching and Relationships on the Rise.

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Online Relationships - The Art Of Misperception

Is “real” love possible to attain via computer? There are many factors that come into play when two people fall in love. Some cannot be described in a definitive way; such as chemical attraction. Other factors are qualities that we find in another person that compliment our desires of a “perfect” mate. Honesty, integrity, loyalty, caring, a fun loving personality and good morals are just a few of these qualities. Many woman and men alike, have “fallen in love” over the internet. They have done so, without the possibility of truly seeing any of these qualities in the other person. So before we put our hearts on the line, we must ask ourselves; is it truly possible to love someone via computer?




The majority of people who believe they have discovered true love without actually meeting the other person, have done so by implementing a type of instant messenger or video conferencing. We will focus on this element, as the element of a webcam can be misleading. When two people find each other and begin to chat online, one of two things happens. Either they do not feel a connection or they do. If a connection is felt, this can quickly escalate into chatting every day. They believe they have discovered the excitement that one feels when meeting someone new. However, they have not really met, have they?

It is a fact that many people are lonely. This is not new to us, many single people are busy with work, single moms are busy with their children and it can be very daunting and difficult to find a meaningful relationship in the “real” world. With personal computers in the majority of every household, many people turn to this internet environment when they are lonely and wish for someone to talk to.

It is important to realize that the world inside a computer is not, and never can be, the real world. When craving acceptance, love, caring, attention and a relationship, one can easily be led astray into the art of misperception. Often, this misperception is not done on purpose. Both people involved in the online relationship do not even realize this is happening.

The truth of the matter is this: the key elements of a true and loving relationship cannot materialize through a computer. You may wish for them, daydream of them and tell yourself they exist, but they do not. Starting with physical and chemical attraction: a person may feel they are attracted to the image on a webcam but this in no way is the actual person that exists. Anyone who owns a webcam surely understands that it is very easy to show yourself in a good light via cam. If you feel that you are completely attracted to the other person, ask yourself this: Do you entirely show your true self on your cam? Webcams are an image of you, a moving image and very far from what you are perceived as in person. If you are attracted to someone via cam, ask yourself, have you stood close to him or her and taken in the presence of his or her body? Do you love the fragrance of their cologne/ perfume? Do you love the feel of their kisses? When they hug you, is it done strongly or softy? Do you love those hugs? When you touch their hair, do you admire the feel of it? The smell of it? The answer, of course is no. You have no idea what this person is like in person nor how you feel physically and emotionally when touching them.

Qualities such as honesty, loyalty, integrity, caring and general overall mood are extremely important to a strong and loving relationship. If a person possesses these qualities, it can then free you to respect the person and set a ground for trust and a feeling of safety. Someone who is in love online, may debate that they have seen these qualities already. To this, I ask; Are you there in the house when they get home from work and see what they do with all of their spare time? Are you witness to their work ethics? Do you sit around a table with their family and see the loving interaction? Have you gotten in an argument and have seen if the other person stays to talk or walks out the door in anger? Have you stood by them when they hear some unpleasant news and are witness to how they react? Have you greeted them at the end of a long day, a day that tested their nerves, and then received a hug? Did you cook and then burn dinner and they told you it does not matter, they love you for trying? Did you forget to run an important errand that you promised you would, and they told you not to worry? The list is endless. The conclusion is that there is no possible way to know of how this person will interact in a relationship without physically being with them.

Love can be confusing. Craving a relationship or marriage can send people in a blindness that prevents them from understanding the misperception that occurs online. Again, this misperception does not need be by intention. The mere fact that there is no actual “in person” interface is what causes this misperception to arise in the first place. A person can be intrigued, in lust, in “like”, or in a false reality of love when online with another. Only in spending quality time face-to-face, will the true colors of the other surface. It is at that time, that one should decide if they are in love.

Written by Alisa Chagnon, webmaster of http://www.lovebulletin.com . Love Bulletin is a free and complete women's online magazine. Updated daily and weekly, packed with strong and sound advice regarding romance, relationships, love, dating and breakups. Articles, guidelines and checklists. Readers can change content in featured sections such as "Fill-in-the-Blanks" and daily Q&A.

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