This is the perfect season for love. The hot summer days are turning cooler and crisper. The perfect chill in the air in invigorating. The leaves are vulnerable and beginning to change as the sun begins to shift in the sky. There is no better time to look for love than now! The slow pace of summer is beginning to pick up. Although some of the resort shops are closing there are so many that remain open for the seasoned shopper. You can still stroll through the streets of the beach towns and find bargains. The restaurants and clubs are still simmering with singles. If you weren’t successful over the summer in finding a partner to bring you in from the cold this winter, then start again. Looking for love is ongoing. Finding someone with the characteristics that you are looking for is a challenge but can be lots of fun. Seek and you shall find. All the best and let me know about your success.

NOW CASTING: ARE YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW READY TO BE MARRIED?
There’s a practice that works in cosmopolitan cultures of today that turns the search for love and happiness upside down. It’s called arranged marriage. First you get married. Then you fall in love. Lifetime TV and the Peabody-award winning producers of Project Runway are now casting singles who’s friends and/or family will help choose their spouse. Details at www.ArrangedMarriageTV.com

I love this article by Steve Penner and want to share it with all….

Steve Penner
June 20, 2008 6:00 AM

“What do you think about the whole Elliot Spitzer affair?”

This is a question that a number of people have asked me in recent months. Then I saw the “Sex and the City” movie, in which cheating by one of the boyfriends is the plot twist that drives the rest of the movie.

So I decided it was time to discuss the whole nefarious concept of “cheating” in relationships.

I was amazed when the media jumped all over the Spitzer affair, as if they had discovered something new. Just think, a powerful politician was caught cheating with a high-priced call girl. Wow, how unusual!

But before I continue, I thought I should try and define exactly what is “cheating.” And I realized that I can’t. Especially today, the whole concept of cheating in a relationship is far more complicated than ever.

Naturally most people would agree that if someone involved in a serious relationship goes to a hooker or has an affair with someone at work that person is cheating on his or her partner. But let me pose the following questions …; is it cheating when someone:

Masturbates while looking at pictures in Playboy (or Playgirl) or on the Internet?
Masturbates when communicating with someone in a live chat room on the Internet?
Goes to a club and watches dancers take their clothes off?
Goes to a club and gets a lap dance?
Has an orgasm while getting a lap dance?

I could easily list about 20 other questions that might illicit different answers from different people. And I am positive that men and women tend to answer the above questions differently, along with people from different religious and cultural backgrounds. (In some countries a woman going outside with her face uncovered is considered cheating.)

But since we know that cheating is a prime relationship killer, I challenge any reader currently in a serious relationship (note that I am not just referring to married couples) to ask their partner to define the term. I predict that even couples who have been together for many years have never had such a discussion …; unless somebody has already been caught cheating.

While writing this column, my daughter who is home from college walked by, and I mentioned I was somewhat stumped trying to define the concept of cheating. She immediately responded “Dad, you really should watch an episode from the second season of ‘Sex and the City.’”

Now my daughter is a walking “Sex and the City” encyclopedia. So she got out her Season 2 DVD, and we viewed the episode titled “The Cheating Curve,” in which the ladies have a discussion trying to define the term.

Good old Samantha answers the question “why men cheat” with the statement that is probably one of the best and funniest quotes of the entire series: “Men cheat for the same reason that dogs lick their (privates), because they can.”

But then level-headed Carrie responds that women cheat too, and with the wisdom of Solomon (or actually whomever wrote that episode because I don’t think Carrie is really that wise) states “I just don’t think you can define cheating in absolute terms …; Someone’s definition of what constitutes cheating is in direct proportion to how much they want to cheat.”

Hmmm, think about that statement when you ask your mate for his or her definition of cheating.

Perhaps if couples communicated more with one another there might be less temptation for one party to cheat. An in-depth conversation trying to define the term might also open up some needed lines of communication that could lead one party or the other to reveal some unresolved “needs” that really should be discussed and addressed.

So many couples these days find themselves bogged down in ridiculously hectic schedules surrounding dual careers, children, and other stresses so that certain “needs” often are overlooked. Sound like anyone you know?

I also must point out that back in the 1980s at the dating service I ran for 23 years, when I asked divorced women for the cause of their divorce, a large number said it was because their husband cheated. Rarely did men ever state that their wife had cheated. But fast forward 20 years, and a growing number of men related stories of cheating wives.

Viva la women’s liberation …; I guess.

Steve Penner was the owner of the Boston-based dating service LunchDates for nearly 23 years and interviewed and listened to feedback from thousands of single men and women from all over New England. “The Truth about Dating” reflects insights and observations based upon his experience. He welcomes comments and feedback at pennerst@hotmail.com. Steve’s book, “The Truth About Dating Revealed; How to Realize and Raise Your Dating Quotient,” is now available through his Web site www.thetruthaboutdating.com and at local bookstores.

Is there anything more frustrating than getting emails from spammers/scammers? The stories are all the same; hard-luck, lots of money hidden somewhere, and begging for help. My job is to delete spammers before they get to you. That’s why everyday I review all the new people who have signed up. I have gotten to the point where I can pick them out before they have a chance to send an email. There is something about spammers/scammers that says “here I am.” Occassionally, one will slip by, but then I spend more time contacting them and telling them in very strong words that they are off the site and contacting you with my apologies. Many members have been very helpful in letting me know that they have been victims of this offense. I appreciate their help in identifying these offensive rip-off emails. My goal is to continue to offer a 100% free site that is user-friendly and purpose-driven. Back to work.

Okay, so you finally decided to take the plunge and try an online dating site. Once you find a reputable site you spend some time setting up your profile. Choosing the best descriptive words about “YOU”, you begin to build a member profile. You need a headline, a bio, and a photo/video. Once done, you post it all to the site. Then you validate your registration with the link that the dating site sent you. You go back onto the site and check your profile. Pleased with a job-well-done you just settle back and wait. That was easy, but why just settle back and wait? The passive online dater will do just that. I have seen it so many times. You join and wait for someone to contact you, rather than take an active role in your love destiny. Looking is half the battle. Finding is the other half. Be a motivated dater and spend time looking for love. Love may find you in the passive role, but an active searcher has a better chance at succeeding at this game of love. Start your search today.

ROAD JUNKY TRAVEL — March 22, 2008

The British are said to be some of the easiest in the world to lay but that can surely only be true in the nightclubs once they’re pissed.

The days of “No sex, please , We’re British!” have passed away and some of the more rowdy clubs can be really sexually spontaneous. Don’t expect much of a conversation afterwards though.

Outside of this, the British are not so comfortable with body contact. So when you meet someone you like you’re not recommended to put your arm around their waist in the first few minutes of conversation. And if you do be sure to apologize.

If you’re hoping to get a date in the UK, it will probably be up to you to make the first move. Stunning foreign language students often come away from Britain with much lower self-esteem as no one hit on them for the whole of their stay.

As the British find it so hard to meet each other they often find themselves very lonely once the days of college have passed by and they’ve hit upon everyone possible at work. They often then take to going to evening classes to study French in the hope of meeting someone. How does it go? Voulez vous couchex avec moi?

Lookingforlove.com offers 10 safety tips to make your online dating experience secure, user-friendly, and safe:

1. Look for a reputable dating site. Just because you are paying a hefty monthly fee doesn’t mean that a site is reputable. Speak to your friends and others and ask if their experiences have been successful. Past success is usually a good predictor for the future.

2. Once you have found the dating site that you want to work with decide how much you want to share in your profile. There is a reason why they are called “personals”. People share their personal business with others, but be careful not to expose too much too soon.

3. Always be discreet the first time around. There will be plenty of opportunity for you to open up your heart and life story. Remember you can always edit your profile.

4. Remember you have a right to privacy. Respond in a responsible way to inquiries. Everyone tries to make themselves look good in an email. It’s real life that really matters. Maintain your privacy until you are ready to share.

5. Use caution. I will say it again, use caution when you share your information. Pay close attention to how much the other person is open to revealing who they are. Someone who is unable to or unwilling to offer up answers to simple facts about themselves may not be the one for you. Move on!

6. When you finally decide to meet, meet in a public place. Take your own transportation or travel with a friend. Even though it may be more convenient for you to be picked up, don’t accept the offer. This isn’t about being independent, it is about staying safe.

7. Let a friend know where you are and who you will be with. Arrange a check-in time during the date. A phone call or text message will be an alert or an all- clear.

8. If the chemistry is right and you feel like you are falling in love on the first date, think again! Never go home with your date and don’t agree to let him follow you home.

9. Watch the booze. Drinking too much will make you vulnerable physically and emotionally. Keep your wits about you at all times. With little or no inhibition you are putting yourself in a compromising and potentially dangerous position. And that goes for party drugs too!

10. Remember safety 1st. Although statistically online dating is safe, there are are still danger signs to pay attention to. Be suspicious, if you must. Be inquisitive. Know when to trust your instincts and call an end to a date. Never act desperate. It may be wiser to go home alone than to stick around with a stranger who doesn’t interest you.

Finding love can be an exciting beginning to a special relationship. Feeling love is even more special. Be careful and play it smart. Welcome to lookingforlove.com.

A picture is worth a thousand words…so please include your photo with your profile. You will get a bigger response to your profile when you include a photo. Just a reminder to also keep your profile accurate, real, and up-to-date.

Sometimes doing something out of character is good for the soul. Today I am on an airplane. I am on my way to Aruba.

One of the wonderful things about running a dating site is that I can manage it from as close the office or as far away as the other side of the world. It’s time for some restorative soul-building and a quiet and meaningful bonding with my bother and his wife, who just so happen to have a home on a tropical Caribbean island. I’ve never been to Aruba, but I hear it is lush and beautiful and full of aging iguanas who share the shadows with pedestrians. I am so ready for some time away, albeit just 5 days.

What I take with me, however is my laptop and wifi service that will allow me to be in contact with my website partners and continue to offer 24/7 customer service to keep lookingforlove.com always on and always available to you. Lookingforlove.com is my labor of true love. So while I’m dodging iguanas, looking for the right seashell to adorn my desk, or sitting in the sun with my sunscreen clearly visible, I will be working on bringing the best of love to you.